this is what it means to be an adventurer in our day: to give up creature comforts of the mind, to realize possibilities of imagination. because everything around us says no you cannot do this, you cannot live without that, nothing is useful unless it's in service to money, to gain, to stability. the adventurer gives in to tides of chaos, trusts the world to support her--and in doing so turns her back on the fear and obedience she has been taught. she rejects the indoctrination of impossibility.my adventure is a struggle for freedom.
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Name: hamster
Birthday: 6/22/1986


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Industry: Art


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Saturday, April 15, 2006

Currently Watching
The Edukators
By Daniel Brühl, Stipe Erceg, Julia Jentsch, Burghart Klaußner
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'alo

 

i am starting the AT and, thus, starting a new blog. it is a time of new beginnings! so, you may now continue stalking me here:

http://becksmagicaladventure.blogspot.com/

i love you!


Thursday, March 16, 2006

Currently Reading
Off the Map
By Kika Kat, Hib Chickena
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dear friends,

the time has come. suddenly and strangely, my life has a purpose, a goal. i will walk the appalachian trail. i will walk all of it. i will sleep in a tent under the stars, i will use my legs and arms and head to move 2,140 miles from georgia to maine, i will be cold and i will be tired, i will struggle and i will fail, i will stink and i will be ugly, and i will be happy. i will leave in april.

 

love,
becka

 

 


Sunday, February 19, 2006

Currently Reading
Travels With Charley: In Search of America
By John Steinbeck
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"I saw in their eyes something I was to see over and over in every part of the nation--a burning desire to go, to move, to get under way, anyplace, away from any Here. They spoke quietly of how they wanted to go someday, to move about, free and unanchored, not toward something but away from something. I saw this look and heard this yearning everywhere in every state i visited. Nearly every American hungers to move."

 

steinbeck
travels with charley

 

 

 


Thursday, February 09, 2006

Currently Listening
Arular
By M.I.A.
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well, my fine feathered friends, i'm gone from there, but now i'm here.

 

and i guess its time for a xanga update, even though i'm relatively sure i hate this thing. major life choices and their effects should be recorded in some manner, i suppose, and i guess if you're reading this you might just care a little what i've been up to.

 

i withdrew from school, in the middle of the night, bascially, and dissapeared. right-o. came home to the ford of rad, virginia, to my dad's house. i think i was dead for a week--i don't really remember much; didn't eat much, didn't talk much, slept a lot and cried a lot too, basically crashed and burned. i'm tired. exhausted. as the days pass, though, i'm feeling better. getting my strength back. reviving. the reality of my decision is beginning to dawn on me--this is not just another weekend at home where i dilly dally around, watch I Love the 80's on VHI and go back to school in three days--this is an opportunity to do something really great and beautiful and crazy, and i, for once, am free. fuckin' A.

my dad and i have been going on walks together, every single day. we go down to the river, usually, and we talk about our feelings. honestly. if you know my dad, at all, you will realize this is probably the most adorable thing you've ever heard. my dad isn't very good at talking about his feelings, but we're making it through. we walk a mile or so, sit on a log and eat an orange, tossing the peel into the rolling water, and talk. its a good life.

the other day, after our walk, dad and i visited the new lowe's in town. the store is the size of a small country, which makes me want to puke all over it, but they did have a nice selection of handheld showerheads. we were walking along, i was probably having an ADD-fit, there are lots of colors and shapes in that store, when dad announces that he wants to me clean out my room because girlfriend, Liz, and him want to remodel the house and my room is destined to become a new master bathroom. well, if that isn't every child's nightmare, to go off to college and have their parent and some strange woman transform their childhood hideout into a swanky bathroom with a jacuzzi tub, i don't know what is, but i took it like a man and said, "well, shit, dad." but he's letting me re-do one of the rooms upstairs, so i guess that's exciting. i'll probably paint it lime green with sunshine yellow polka dots. so that will give me something to do until the weather gets better and i can go galavanting across the country, free like the wind and the birds and singing at the top of my lungs.

other than that, i guess the only thing that's really cool is that i've been flossing. yes, every day. i've never done that before in my life and i figured, what the hell, might as well start now, i'm free to make any choices i want. i might look into archery lessons. and i spend a lot of time missing everyone.

so, until later, i'll be walking, biking and exploring all over this little raddy town. there's more to see here than i realized.

 

 

 

 

 

Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. What the world needs is people who have come alive.

 

 

 

 

 


Monday, February 06, 2006

Currently Listening
In Case We Die
By Architecture in Helsinki
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The stories of two people, alone. They go through life separate, they go through life lonely, helpless. They have counselors, they have parents and friends, they have nothing, really. We see this in flashes, intermingled together but definitively separate. Their lives, until this point, last for fifteen seconds. Flashes of light. Flashes of memory. Flashes of space. Tears, words, and silence.  They need each other, but they do not want to admit it. They do not know it.

 

A whale beaches itself on the shoreline of Scotland. They are standing at either ends of the beach. Silently. The whale is struggling. It is only them. There are two endings.

 

One; they move to help. Their footsteps like water, their imprints disappear as they walk down the beach, on the part of the sand the waves reach, the part of the sand that gives away their presence for only until the next wave rolls in, their sole and five, bare toes lost in the foam and the surf, as they wish they could be. The whale is quieter now. The wind blows their hair. The sun is setting, the orange and red and pink are igniting the sky in wild displays. They see one another. They are far away, still. They walk slowly toward one another, toward the whale, from up the beach and down. It is quiet, now. They walk closer. The waves move in, and out, in, and out. Their footprints disappear. The wind blows their hair, hers more than his, their clothes are wrinkled, their faces tired, their eyes bright. The whale is there, still breathing. Its tail moves now, softly lifting from the beach, in the air for a second and then down again. They move closer, now, staring at one another, still miles, it seems, apart. They are five feet from the whale, on either side. It is not a big whale. Maybe a beluga. Maybe a narwhale. Maybe a dolphin. It is a dolphin. A bottlenose. Its face is caught in a perpetual smile. It is dying. They know this. They move to either side of its body, placing their hands on its sides, feeling its skin beneath their fingers, its breath. It is much smoother than they had thought. They are staring at one another. They kneel beside the dolphin, now in the surf. The waves reach their shins and knees, drenching them, in and out, the sand moving beneath their weight. the dolphin is still. The wind blows their hair. Slowly, now, as the waves fall in and out they dip their cupped hands in the surf, trapping the transparent in the solid, taming the ceaseless motion by gathering it motionless between their fingertips. They bring their hands over the dolphin and open them, the water rushes down the slick sides and over the smile, breathing life again. They move like the waves, bring their hands down, cup them, gather the water and raise them, spilling it over the dolphin again and again. Down, up, release. Down, up, release. He is moving, now. The tide is coming in. the waves are closer, higher, faster. With each wave the body of the dolphin lifts momentarily, he could float out to sea, now. He could. The tide will get higher. Their legs are soaked. His jeans are heavy, her dress is light. The sun is more brilliant with every moment, the sky a bouquet they cannot sell, nor would anyone believe if painted onto a canvas with colors fluorescent. The waves are higher. They have not spoken. They still move their hands, down, cup the water, up, release, pouring over the back, the fins, the face. The wind blows, the waves sigh. This wave is bigger than the rest. It barges in, pressing their sides and moving the dolphin forward, now back. He is floating. He comes to life, moving backward, backward, out to sea. He is free, he is floating, he has been saved. He will see another day, will feel the ocean smooth against his body. They are standing, now. Facing one another. The dolphin has gone. It would not have died if they had not came. The tide came in, it would have escaped, soon, they suppose. They do not know. They face each other. The wind blows their hair. They are staring at one another, in silence. The light is fading, there are stars in the sky. She smiles, crookedly. His eyes crinkle. A small laugh escapes his nostrils, a breath exhaled shortly. She takes his hand, they turn. They stand facing the ocean, hands clasped. The wind blows their hair.  The waves roll in, and out, in, and out.

 

 

Second ending: they stand, seeing the dolphin but not seeing one another. They cannot escape their sadness. They do not move, they do not speak. The waves move in, and out, in, and out. She will sit, perhaps, staring, a tear drifting down her cheek. He will stare down the beach, the wind blowing his hair. He will put his hands on his head, blow his breath out his mouth and turn, feet in the sand. He will walk back to his car, his footprints will last, this time, he will open the door and turn the key. There will be sand on his floorboard, the sun is setting fire to the sky. His taillights will disappear into the darkness, the dolphin still drifts, eventually, back out to sea. She will sit, staring, for hours. She will cry, but she will not know why. He will return to his party, seeing his friends, laughing but not caring, feeling nothing. He will drink. She will cry and then she, too, will leave the beach. To the party. There, they see each other. They hold each others gaze for an instant, they look away. The bottles clink against the cup. The moments flash by. The waves roll in and out, in, and out. 

 

 

 

 

 

 



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